Is It Worth It?

Is ten seconds of having an intense “O-face” moment with someone who is not your spouse worth an eternity in Hell? Is it worth having God say to you at the end of your life, “Get away from me, you who break God’s laws” (Matthew 7:23)? The Bible is pretty clear when it says that those that break God’s laws won’t make it into Heaven. 1 Corinthians 6:9 puts it pretty plain: Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Sexual sin includes voluntarily having sex with someone that is not your spouse. And for those “technical virgins” out there, sexual sin also includes all those other activities you consider “not going all the way” *raises eyebrow*. From the beginning of time and until Christ comes back, sex is ONLY permitted within marriage between a man and his wife.
But, Tiffany, it just feels soooo GOOD! I know, trust me, I know. So does eating a whole box of glazed doughnuts. Does that mean I surrender to my feelings and indulge in it? Sure, if I want to suffer the consequences of gaining weight, breaking out, and being unhealthy overall. Having sex feels great. Shoot, it feels AMAZING. BUT if not used in its proper context, i.e.marriage, we are subject to the consequences. How many of us know someone with an STD, HIV, or AIDS? How many of us know teen parents and have friends who had their kids out of wedlock? How many of us were broken-hearted or know someone who was crushed after that guy dropped us after we let him have it? We’re all too familiar with the consequences. Most of us have been there. Somehow we accept them and tolerate them. Can you accept the fate that you’re walking toward those fiery gates of Hell every time you surrender to the good feelings of sex and get it on with that man that is not your husband?
Well, me and my man have been together for so long, we KNOW we’re gonna get married. We’re committed and we love each other, so God understands. No, Boo, He doesn’t. I do not want to sound harsh, but that logic just doesn’t count. Nowhere in the Bible is there a footnote that says, “Don’t have sex outside of marriage….unless, you really, really, really love each other and you know you’re going to get married one day. Then, it’s okay.” And trust me, I understand. I was there. My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, and I thought God didn’t mind us having sex because I really love him and want to marry him. God knows we’re gonna get married one day anyway, so why does it matter if we do it now or after the wedding? God knows my heart. But, unless you’ve had an official wedding with witnesses and a ring on your left finger, no sex should be taking place.
But won’t my guy leave me if I don’t give it up? Girrrrl, if that’s what it takes for your man to leave, then you are doing yourself a huge favor by just letting him go. He just showed you who he loves when he gave you an ultimatum between your purity and him. He loves no one but himself, his flesh, and his father, the devil. Notice you are nowhere in that list. A man that truly loves you and loves God would encourage you to do better in Christ. I know it’s hard to accept, but he doesn’t love you. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13 that “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way…”. If you man loves you, he’d be patient and kind. That means that he’d wait for your hand in marriage before he tries to get in your pants. True love waits; it’s as simple as that. It’s about putting others before yourself. You want a man that cares more about your salvation than your body. If I truly love someone and want them to escape Hell, wouldn’t I try to help them avoid it? If your house is burning down, wouldn’t you want me to help you escape or put the flames out? Wouldn’t you look at me crazy if I started handing you stuff to make the fire worse? How does that show I love you? It doesn’t. You want a man that puts God first. A man who puts God first will put your purity before his desires.
I know what you’re thinking right now, because I was thinking the same thing a few months back. I remember late one night I happened to stumble across Heather Lindsey’s blog (she’s a GREAT woman of God, by the way so I suggest you check out her blog, here) and as I read her blog, I was both angry and convicted! I was convicted because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I was displeasing God. I was angry because she was revealing that sin to me and revealing how I didn’t want to let that sin go. I didn’t want to let go of indulging my flesh in the pleasures of sex. I was angry because how could this woman tell me I was going to Hell when I was a good person and I had morals? With all of the other crazy people doing crazy, horrible things in the world, you mean to tell me I was going to go to Hell because of sex??! But then I had to realize Heather didn’t make it up, God did. That’s His law. Sex is much deeper than just two bodies stuck together. There is a reason as to why sex is only “legal” in marriage. We’ll definitely talk about it more in later posts. But, seriously, think about it: the pleasures of sex last around, what, 30 minutes? An hour? Eternity lasts FOREVER.
Next time, I’ll give some tips on how to abstain from having sex once you make the decision to do so. I’ll also include how my boyfriend and I die daily to our flesh and choose God over our desires. Love you, Sis! Tiffany
**I encourage everyone to research everything I say and what others say by reading and exploring the Bible for yourself.