How I Afford to be a Stay at Home Mom
I knew once I became pregnant with Eli that I wanted to stay at home with him. The plan was to save up the checks from my job, and then slowly transition once I returned from maternity leave. Fast forward seven months, and I’m being laid off.
Cue the panic! Although my husband works hard, he doesn’t have some big, fancy job. And when I got laid off, I income was cut by more than half.
And who was going to hire a lady with a big ‘ol pregnant belly?!
At the time, I didn’t understand why God let that happen. I still don’t fully know why, but I’m starting to think that maybe it was for a time such as this.
I talk to so many women who want to stay home with their babies and feel like they can’t. So many mamas feel that tension of wanting to be home, but needing to provide income for their family. I know that all too well. Trust me, I get it. And while I know this isn’t for everyone (I’m not trying to sell a fantasy here), I just want to say that you CAN stay home with your children. Is it easy? Heck no. Is it for everyone? Nope. Will it require sacrifice? Yep. But is it worth it? Absolutely.
So today I want to talk about how I’ve been able to afford to be a stay at home mom for the last two and a half years.
We live below our means
I’ll be honest: this is something we are currently trying to get back in the habit of. We’ve never been ones to try to live above our means, but we used to live right at our means. When we started Financial Peace University, we learned how to spend much less than what our income provided, which helped us to save. And thank God because after I got laid off, the savings truly helped us. But once the savings ran out, we got used to spending every single dollar we brought in because we had to in order to pay all of our bills. Now that we can breathe a bit, we are back on track! Living below our means isn’t always fun, especially when I can get in my feelings looking at things other people have. But I remind myself that this is what is necessary for me to be able to afford to be a stay at home mom.
Other ways to live below your means:
Make a budget so that you know what your “means” are
Focus on your needs more than your wants
Meal plan
Bring lunch to work instead of eating out (we actually cook enough dinner the night before so that we have leftovers for lunch)
Automatically save and bank any raises, bonuses, tax refunds or overtime
Find ways to spend less on entertainment (like going to the library, finding free events, etc.)
We have to make sacrifices
Living below your means automatically comes with sacrifices, and only you know what sacrifices will be worth it for you and your family. Sure, I could have went back to work after Eli was born, but a) a lot of my paycheck would have went to daycare (because best believe Eli was going to go to an AMAZING daycare with all the bells and whistles), b) I truly want to be at home with my kids during their first few years of life. So I was determined to make that work. For us that means, we HAVE to stick to a budget. We can’t spend money on travelling or constantly go out or shop as much as I’d like. This also means that we live in a one-bedroom apartment so that our living expenses are less. This means that (for now) we have one car. Are these inconveniences something I’d like to not have? Absolutely! But I’d continue to do it if it means I get to stay at home with my kids.
Other sacrifices we’ve made so that I can afford to be a stay at home mom:
We have each have a capsule-ish wardrobe instead of constantly buying new clothes
We cook at home way more than we go out to eat
When things were really tight in the beginning, we sold a lot of our things
We got rid of Amazon Prime recently (this one was a tough one for me!)
Eli isn’t involved in all the things like gymnastics, soccer, swimming, etc.
Not having the latest or newest of anything. We have to work really hard to make everything we have last
We have to get creative
When you’ve got to make every penny stretch, you learn how to get creative. Since we can’t eat out as much, I’ve learned new recipes. We can’t go out as much, so I’ve got a whole Pinterest board on the many fun things we can do as a family for free or for cheap. Toby has taught himself a lot of things dealing with our car, so now we don’t have to pay for things like oil changes and brake replacement/repair. Again, we live in a one-bedroom with a toddler and a baby on the way. I have learned how to reuse, rearrange and repurpose all of our furniture.
Other ways you can get creative:
Want to shop organic but hate how expensive it can be? Just focus on buying the Clean 15
Really want that name brand whatever? Shop second-hand (Goodwill, thrift shops, Facebook Market, etc.)
We have to bring in more income
As much as we try to cut back, save, and be intentional with our money, the truth of the matter is that in order for me to be able to afford to stay at home, we need additional income outside of my husband’s job. A year and a half ago, we were down to our LAST last, and I had to decide if I was going back to work or if I was going to figure out a way to bring in money and still be at home with my toddler. It was August 1, 2018 and I decided to give myself until August 15th to become a virtual assistant. And that’s exactly what I did!
I will be forever grateful for my virtual assistant business because I get to work the hours I need and want, stay home with my son, and bring in an income. The bonuses are nice too: having amazing clients, expanding my network, having chances to get out of the house and interact with other adults due to these networks and connections (because let’s be honest: the stay at home mom life can be lonely), and staying current in my career should I ever decide to go back to work.
Now that we live in this digital age, it is easier now than ever for moms to be able to stay at home and bring in an income for their family.
Related: How I Became a Virtual Assistant in Two Weeks
Some ways to bring in an additional income:
Sell things you have at home that you no longer want, need, or use
Teach English to kids in other countries (like VIPkid)
Become a freelancer (you can be a graphic designer, writer, proofreader, provide transcription services, etc.)
Start a blog
Start a YouTube channel
Babysit or provide before and after school care
Mow lawns
Drive for Uber or Lyft
As you can see from this post, it is possible for you to be able to afford to be a stay at home mom. It may not be easy, but it is definitely doable if being at home is truly something you want to do. And please hear my heart when I say this: if you find that doing the above is just too much for you to do in order to make being a stay at home mom work, absolutely no judgement! At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you and your family. And honestly, had I know I would get laid off, I would have been even more aggressive with our savings and I would have started my virtual assistant business sooner. It just didn’t work out like that for me!
