Relationship Questions!
* I wrote this post this morning, but because of work and other obligations, it's coming out super late! *
Good morning, Dear Sisters! Thank you all so much for the engagement congrats, well wishes, and questions! These were some really great questions and I also added a few of my own, in case anyone was a little shy to send in an inquiry. As I have answered all questions as honestly as I could, I pray that God's glory and amazing work shines through!
"Since you have been with Toby and are now engaged, how do you know that Toby was God sent only for you although you all have had some faults in the relationship that was not of God? For example sex, smoking, drinking, etc."
I talk about how I struggled with knowing if Toby and I were supposed to be together in this blog. But a big part was just being obedient to God. He would tell me to pray for Toby, take a fast from spending time with Toby, etc. and at the same time, I saw God changing Toby. I don't think there is just one person, or soulmate, for each person. I believe we have options. I had and still do have the option to marry someone else. But there's no one I want to be with! Also, I had to see his fruit: was he conforming to the image of Christ? Was he cultivating a personal relationship with Jesus?
"How do you know if someone is the 'one'?"
Like I said before, I don't believe in necessarily the "one". But I knew that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with Toby because I had/have peace about it. Always go with your peace. Also, Toby is my best friend. I can't see life without him. AND he loves Jesus and lives for Him daily. Which makes me confident that he would lead me and our family closer to Christ.
How did you and Toby meet?
Toby and I met at his church in 2008! (Read here to get the details)
How do you and Toby keep God at the center of your relationship?
We are always asking ourselves and each other "would God approve of this? What does God have to say of this?". We realize that everything we could try to do outside of Christ would fail, so why leave Him out? He makes our relationship so much easier, especially when He guides us in our actions! Some practical ways that we keep God at the center is that we make sure God comes first before the other person. I won't interrupt quiet time with God to spend time with Toby. He won't do something for or with me when God has told him to do something else. We pray for and with each other. God always comes first!
How do you pray for Toby?
I will be honest: although I try to pray for Toby every day, I don't always succeed. That is definitely something I want to get better at since I will be his wife soon (!!!). But I usually try to pray for him early in the morning, either during or after the prayer call I have with my girlfriends. I also pray for him throughout the day as the Lord leads me. I pray for just about everything from his leadership skills to the headache he might be having at work. When I first began praying for Toby, this blog post and this other one really helped. Also, from time to time I may use the plan from The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martin. Just let God lead you in your prayers for your man!
"Did you go on dates alone? Late night movies? Any cuddling? Any hugging?"
Yes, we go on dates alone! Although I do not recommend this for every couple, because each couple struggles with different things. But for Toby and me, going out on dates alone don't tempt us as a) we've been together for six years, b) we go out in public like to a restaurant or the park, and c) we try not to be out all night. We haven't been to any movies since we started courting in May 2013. Nope, we don't cuddle, but we do hug... most of the time sideways, as hugs causes a struggle for us!
"How do y'all enjoy the relationship by keeping away from all of the physical stuff?"
I think people think that a relationship can't be fun if you're not being physical, but that's not true! We have so much fun hanging with our friends, watching movies at my house, going out on dates, laughing together, talking to each other... We're best friends! Think about you and your bestie: is it not fun because you guys aren't fondling and kissing each other?
"What are your do's and don'ts in your dating life?"
Don'ts: kissing, hugging in a certain way, talking nasty to each other, hanging out super late alone, seeing each other naked, fondling each other, lying, sex, tempting each other
Do's: praying for and with each other, being honest, holding hands, open communication, going to church together, having separate times with God, serving one another, loving one another, going out on dates, being silly together...
When is the wedding?
We have no clue!
Love you, sis!
Tiffany
Good morning, Dear Sisters! Thank you all so much for the engagement congrats, well wishes, and questions! These were some really great questions and I also added a few of my own, in case anyone was a little shy to send in an inquiry. As I have answered all questions as honestly as I could, I pray that God's glory and amazing work shines through!
"Since you have been with Toby and are now engaged, how do you know that Toby was God sent only for you although you all have had some faults in the relationship that was not of God? For example sex, smoking, drinking, etc."
I talk about how I struggled with knowing if Toby and I were supposed to be together in this blog. But a big part was just being obedient to God. He would tell me to pray for Toby, take a fast from spending time with Toby, etc. and at the same time, I saw God changing Toby. I don't think there is just one person, or soulmate, for each person. I believe we have options. I had and still do have the option to marry someone else. But there's no one I want to be with! Also, I had to see his fruit: was he conforming to the image of Christ? Was he cultivating a personal relationship with Jesus?
"How do you know if someone is the 'one'?"
Like I said before, I don't believe in necessarily the "one". But I knew that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with Toby because I had/have peace about it. Always go with your peace. Also, Toby is my best friend. I can't see life without him. AND he loves Jesus and lives for Him daily. Which makes me confident that he would lead me and our family closer to Christ.
How did you and Toby meet?
Toby and I met at his church in 2008! (Read here to get the details)
How do you and Toby keep God at the center of your relationship?
We are always asking ourselves and each other "would God approve of this? What does God have to say of this?". We realize that everything we could try to do outside of Christ would fail, so why leave Him out? He makes our relationship so much easier, especially when He guides us in our actions! Some practical ways that we keep God at the center is that we make sure God comes first before the other person. I won't interrupt quiet time with God to spend time with Toby. He won't do something for or with me when God has told him to do something else. We pray for and with each other. God always comes first!
How do you pray for Toby?
I will be honest: although I try to pray for Toby every day, I don't always succeed. That is definitely something I want to get better at since I will be his wife soon (!!!). But I usually try to pray for him early in the morning, either during or after the prayer call I have with my girlfriends. I also pray for him throughout the day as the Lord leads me. I pray for just about everything from his leadership skills to the headache he might be having at work. When I first began praying for Toby, this blog post and this other one really helped. Also, from time to time I may use the plan from The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martin. Just let God lead you in your prayers for your man!
"Did you go on dates alone? Late night movies? Any cuddling? Any hugging?"
Yes, we go on dates alone! Although I do not recommend this for every couple, because each couple struggles with different things. But for Toby and me, going out on dates alone don't tempt us as a) we've been together for six years, b) we go out in public like to a restaurant or the park, and c) we try not to be out all night. We haven't been to any movies since we started courting in May 2013. Nope, we don't cuddle, but we do hug... most of the time sideways, as hugs causes a struggle for us!
"How do y'all enjoy the relationship by keeping away from all of the physical stuff?"
I think people think that a relationship can't be fun if you're not being physical, but that's not true! We have so much fun hanging with our friends, watching movies at my house, going out on dates, laughing together, talking to each other... We're best friends! Think about you and your bestie: is it not fun because you guys aren't fondling and kissing each other?
"What are your do's and don'ts in your dating life?"
Don'ts: kissing, hugging in a certain way, talking nasty to each other, hanging out super late alone, seeing each other naked, fondling each other, lying, sex, tempting each other
Do's: praying for and with each other, being honest, holding hands, open communication, going to church together, having separate times with God, serving one another, loving one another, going out on dates, being silly together...
When is the wedding?
We have no clue!
Love you, sis!
Tiffany